To Whom It May Concern

Posted: March 15, 2014 in Poetry
Tags: , , ,

The moon
Closer than close

This soil
So soft

Shoeless feet
Far from cold

Mosquitoes
Sucking sin

From within
You disintegrate

Scars
Underneath your skin

Sun
Rising in dreams

Brunette clouds
Curtaining moonlight

You’re envious
Of those fixed stars

The soil
So soft

You may lay down
And never wake up

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Comments
  1. And the winner line is: “Looking up through floral blinds. Another great one!

  2. Miranda Stone says:

    I’m always such a fan of powerful poetry that incorporates short lines (probably because I’m mostly unable to do so with my own poetry! I have short line envy). These sparse lines convey so much, Benjamin. My favorite stanza is:

    Brunette clouds
    Curtaining moonlight

    What an original way to describe the clouds. I agree with the above comment–this is a haunting poem, and beautifully written.

    • bejamin4 says:

      Thanks for commenting on those lines. Those were my favorite lines, as well. I always try for shorter when writing. Brevity can be such a powerful thing in many cases.

  3. xmarrsx says:

    Ben! this was so good man! “sucking sin”…whew had to put my coffee down for that line, also like (Miranda) commented your description of the clouds… Beautiful images excellent work as always *clap*

  4. diotimarox says:

    Wonderful piece…

  5. Phen Weston says:

    Amazing poem. Love the line “from within/you disintegrate”. There’s something ethereal about it. I love the ending as well.

  6. Some really striking images here Benjamin, I love the idea of ‘brunette clouds’

  7. janeygingerboy says:

    So sad yet so beautiful. I love ‘shoeless feet far from cold’.

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