The Tin Man

Posted: July 10, 2014 in Collaborative Poetry, Poetry
Tags: , , , , ,

I’m not surprised by what I see
when I look right through you

You’re a pristine stained-glass window
with cob-webbed space behind

You’re a pool of reflections
dissolving the bruised sand

Your beauty is curious
with marred yet luminous lines

Standing alone is your strength
your source is yet to be named

You are today
what everyone else
will be tomorrow

Empty and
the most alluring being out there.

© jadedmess 2014 & © thebreakdownoftaboo 2014

(This is part of a collaborative poetic effort between myself and jadedmess: Make sure and check out her blog here.)

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Comments
  1. redgladiola says:

    This stanza in particular it pretty telling about the narrator’s overall views:

    “You are today
    what everyone else
    will be tomorrow”

    It makes me wonder if this tin man is as empty as they seem. =)

    • bejamin4 says:

      I think you bring up an interesting point. Maybe sometimes it is good to be a “tin man”. In fact, maybe it is necessary in order to make it through certain points of life.

  2. This is a great one. I feel like I say that all time, but you’re just a really great writer, and I enjoy all of these collaborations you are doing. Keep it up. I love this one because you really can take it in a positive or negative view. Nice job 🙂

  3. mgquinonez says:

    “You are today
    What everyone else
    Will be tomorrow”
    My favorite stanza in this piece

  4. Phen Weston says:

    Great collaboration. Love these lines “You’re a pristine stained-glass window / with cob-webbed space behind.”

  5. Lex Garcia says:

    People should write more poems like this. Again, you’ve shown us how a poem like this can mind-bogglingly strike the readers. Genius!

  6. Miranda Stone says:

    This is fantastic. I feel like the narrator is torn between contempt and a grudging admiration for the person described in the poem.

  7. I absolutely love those last three verses…
    You two are a wonderful team, Benjamin.

  8. stacilys says:

    Oh wow, this one is just wonderful. I love the imagery here. Collaborations are fun, aren’t they. Two creative minds working together to create a masterpiece.
    🙂

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