A Change Of Heart

Posted: July 13, 2014 in Collaborative Poetry, Poetry
Tags: , , , ,

If I could remake you
I would start with your heart
your calloused, beaten

I would flip you
outside in
so you could be more than a

Being your balmy ocean
your soothing ointment,
your eyes would view your

If I could remake you
I would never start
for you are perfection
every single part.

© jadedmess 2014 & © thebreakdownoftaboo 2014

(This is part of a collaborative poetic effort between myself and jadedmess: Make sure and check out her blog here.)

  1. Your collaboration is a might one! Pleased for you both.

  2. redgladiola says:

    I was going to argue with the narrator at first about the pitfalls of trying to change someone else, but you did this lovely turnaround at the end. Love is about acceptance and helping someone make positive changes, but not making them for them. =)

  3. Phen Weston says:

    I have to agree with redgladioli. I too was going to comment on changing someone, and how sometimes it’s the imperfections that make a person interesting. Until that perfect and wonderful last stanza! Very well done. It’s beyond perfect!

  4. Miranda Stone says:

    This poem took a surprising turn, just as the title implies. The beginning stanzas indicate that the narrator isn’t pleased with the person being described, and the last two stanzas have a different tone entirely–one of acceptance. Well done, Benjamin.

  5. Rob McShane says:

    I agree with the comment above about trying to change someone…and then you flipped it so nicely! Great one! Thanks….

  6. Radika says:

    Really liking this. Great job!

  7. This is heavy. Rang a chord with me in a place i still am not sure I’m aware of. Thanks for sharing and thanks for writing.

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