#justlove (#1)

Posted: October 8, 2014 in #justlove
Tags: , , , , ,

For the next couple of months, or at least until the end of the year, I’m going to try and change my way of thinking, try to recycle my bad thoughts and turn them into good ones. Instead of disliking or hating certain experiences, I’m going to value everything that happens to me, be happy for the opportunity to experience all that there is to experience in life, whether that is getting caught in the rain or trying a new food or being late for work. It is amazing to think about all the possibilities a day can bring us. Always, we should open that door of possibility and see what is behind it. There is no limit to where possibility can lead us; the path has as many branches as there are planets in the universe, even if most of these paths are shadowed by fear and doubt. Still, we shouldn’t run from those shadows. No, we should embrace them, find out what there is to find within them.

With that said, tonight I met the most amazing woman in the world. She is what I could never imagine, not even in my dreams. She is a perfect collection of particles, the kind of matter that actually matters. Already I think I could love her until my eyes close for the final time. Though how silly of a thought is that?

I don’t know what I think about love at first sight. Perhaps just that I am not so much in love as my eyes are? But I feel a connection beyond glances and stares, a connection that runs into the invisible parts of me, perhaps the more important parts of me, of us all. Honestly, I think I would tell her that I love her now, if I didn’t think it would scare her away. I suppose it’s sometimes best to slow down the feelings of the heart.

I must admit, though, that I made a mistake with this woman, one that I’m already secretly regretting. (Although my goal for the next couple of months is to live regret free.)

I lied to her. I’m much younger than she thinks I am.


  1. Pua Nani says:

    I like your perspective about embracing all experiences. Very inspiring πŸ™‚

  2. Svelte says:

    I’m all smiling here!:-) The hopeless, helpless romantic was all pleased until the last line… Please right that wrong.
    Go for it, you never know where it leads! – Jen

    • bejamin4 says:

      Thank you for commenting. Smiling is great for our entire being, and I think we’re all hopeless romantics, in truth. It is a wrong I have every intention of righting. Just need the courage #justlove.

  3. Just tonight? Wow! This could be the first day of the best part of your life, Benjamin. I am very happy for you. Your age shouldn’t matter, and clearing it up quickly would be for the best. However, you are a smart man and don’t need my advice. I look forward to reading about a more positive and accepting you. β™‘ I believe in you.

  4. jadedmess says:

    So happy for you Ben! She is a blessed woman to have met you as well! I hope you get caught in the rain soon…remember to splash through the puddles πŸ™‚

  5. tenderlytina says:

    “Always, we should open that door of possibility and see what is behind it.” Those are brilliant words. for a life lived while truly alive. There are far too many dead people walking around just going through the motions. I’m glad you’re not one of them.
    I don’t believe in love at first sight not true love anyway. I think it takes time to build that sweet deep love. I do believe that we can simply hit it off with someone from the first time we meet and that can lead to a deep abiding love.
    I advise you to tell her the truth about your age now and she’ll either be open to it or not. If not it’s better to know now than to wait until your heart is in it too deep, right?

    • bejamin4 says:

      I agree. It’s a strange idea of being born dead, but I think these days it happens too often. Society has a away of turning us into machines at times.

      Maybe love at first sight is just not the “really real” kind of love, but just another shade of love? Hard to say, but I tend to lean toward your direction of thinking on it.

      Yes, truth is usually the best. Anything built on a lie must survive on a lie, and that’s not really something I could just love.

  6. A noble initiative. Welcome to the light side. πŸ™‚

  7. zdunno03 says:

    Good luck, Benjamin, but I agree with the previous comment by tenderlytina: be honest always. Lies only lead to more lies and the truth is always easiest to remember. Besides, Tina is right. Better to know now than be truly brokenhearted later.

  8. stacilys says:

    Good for you Benjamin. I’m rootin for ya. You gotta make sure you confess to this woman though. Make sure there’s nothing that could go sour in the end. Don’t let age be a factor. I’m 4yrs older than my hubby.
    Big smiles.
    πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    • bejamin4 says:

      Thanks πŸ™‚ I appreciate the “rootin”, for sure. I’ll definitely have to come clean sooner than soon, and I try not live life by numbers, but mostly because I”m terrible at math. Thanks for the advice πŸ™‚ Very much appreciated. It only makes me know what I have to do more fully.

  9. Miranda Stone says:

    I admire your new perspective, my friend. Sounds like you’re walking on air right now. πŸ™‚

  10. My soul feels good after reading that. Great job and good luck man. I can’t blame you for the white lie, women and good impressions are an intimidating task. I dont even think they realize it half the time. Keep trooping guy.

    • bejamin4 says:

      Thanks for comments. Even white lies can be harmful, it seems, but perhaps some less blame comes from them. Perhaps.

      • Haha. Yes the white lies are just as bad as the dark ones, a lesson I’ve learned the hard way. What I more meant was sometimes you get caught in these situations where everything you’ve seemingly every wanted has entered the room. Your world goes crazy, I go into like a trance or something. Only raw emotion can make you become that stupid, talking about myself of course not you.

        It’s just ironic.

      • bejamin4 says:

        I definitely understand you on that one. I think I get stupid, as well. Sometimes I wish we could learn these lessons the easy way.

      • Haha indeed. I’ve learned though that sometimes the hardest lessons are more valuable than the easy answers. Besides crazy people find joys in life from them. Not at first though. At first it is weak. Super weak haha.

  11. Phen Weston says:

    Very well written and thought through.mgreat ideas here my friend. And as for age. Time is relative to the self as well as the clock. An hour changes length by perspective. That way who knows what true age you or I or she really is? (Maybe)… So you could infect be older or younger than the clock recognises. She may see past it?

  12. InfiniteZip says:

    I am into the laws of attraction, for life, love, friends, etc….great book of life…Abraham Hicks πŸ™‚ to be effortless in everything magic happens πŸ™‚ honesty is always best πŸ™‚

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