Posts Tagged ‘regret’

#justlove (#1)

Posted: October 8, 2014 in #justlove
Tags: , , , , ,

For the next couple of months, or at least until the end of the year, I’m going to try and change my way of thinking, try to recycle my bad thoughts and turn them into good ones. Instead of disliking or hating certain experiences, I’m going to value everything that happens to me, be happy for the opportunity to experience all that there is to experience in life, whether that is getting caught in the rain or trying a new food or being late for work. It is amazing to think about all the possibilities a day can bring us. Always, we should open that door of possibility and see what is behind it. There is no limit to where possibility can lead us; the path has as many branches as there are planets in the universe, even if most of these paths are shadowed by fear and doubt. Still, we shouldn’t run from those shadows. No, we should embrace them, find out what there is to find within them.

With that said, tonight I met the most amazing woman in the world. She is what I could never imagine, not even in my dreams. She is a perfect collection of particles, the kind of matter that actually matters. Already I think I could love her until my eyes close for the final time. Though how silly of a thought is that?

I don’t know what I think about love at first sight. Perhaps just that I am not so much in love as my eyes are? But I feel a connection beyond glances and stares, a connection that runs into the invisible parts of me, perhaps the more important parts of me, of us all. Honestly, I think I would tell her that I love her now, if I didn’t think it would scare her away. I suppose it’s sometimes best to slow down the feelings of the heart.

I must admit, though, that I made a mistake with this woman, one that I’m already secretly regretting. (Although my goal for the next couple of months is to live regret free.)

I lied to her. I’m much younger than she thinks I am.



Asking Ouroboros

Posted: October 8, 2014 in Collaborative Poetry, Poetry
Tags: , , ,

Regret is like a nightmare:
It grows in the darkness
While suffocating sleep
With its shadowy hands

Its creeping fingers cross
My bed’s threshold
And smothers me
With fatigue and heaviness

Dragging the best parts of me back into the past
But leaving the worst parts of me for the present
Is this feeling a sickness born of my heart?
Or a ghost haunting my memory?

Turning such thoughts in my head
Turning the covers as umbras twist
And I, myself, lost among the thorny bramble
I dare to whisper words aloud:

Always the same words
Always the same answer

(This is part of a collaborative poetic effort between myself and redgladiola: Make sure and check out her blog here.)

When you were moon

I was sky.

When you were fire

I was tinder.

When you were words

I was paper.

When you were hunger

I was food.

When you were tears

I was tissue.

When you were lost

I was map.

When you were broken

I was glue.

When you were mine

I was minor.

Without u

I am s.